The Pizzazzy

With my young nephew we can get anything done with a mere promise of a few hours of TV watching. Although everyone of us keep saying that it’s bad for his eyes and blah blah we barter it for some selfish reasons. If he is not ready to come on the phone I usually hear Di in the background telling him that “Urjit, if you speak with Mausi, I’ll let you watch TV” or “See what Mausi is saying. She says she is getting a new toy for you, Come!”. And Urjit is speaking his heart out on the phone.

If he is disturbing us in our partying we also lure him into silence with a few hours of playing games on the net which is again not good for his eyes. I understand that it is truly difficult to get things done from these young monsters and we usually put conditions. Incentive of an ice cream treat, if they study or clean up the room or even behave themselves. And sometimes you will be so amazed by their negotiation skills. We sure can take a lesson or two from them.

If you really think back, we have been the same way during our childhood days, there were always conditions placed on us or by us, incentives with every little act to and fro. If you get good marks, you can get a new set of toys or a new set of clothes or a new cycle or a new bike or an extra hour in the playground or an overnite pajama party and so on.

Although our parents and their parents and we as parents always tried and maintained “no wheeling and dealing” attitude, we know that we got away with them and now Urjit also has all the right in the world.

Parents deliberately never encouraged us to enter into negotiations but I think it healthy to involve the kids into such negotiations in day to day life. For instance when Urjit says “I want to watch a movie” and Di then tells him to finish his writing” then he says “will you make maggie for me” and then she says “ok then help me clean up your room” I think this is completely healthy and in this case Urjit knows what he is getting into.

And as he grows up he will learn to give importance and respect to other’s opinion. And will be in control of any situation by weighing the pros and cons of it.

I remember doing it so many times. Buying my way into getting others to do things my way conditionally. Convincing my parents why I need a new school uniform or a new school bag or extra pocket money or be allowed to watch the afternoon regional movies during exams also. Our parents listened to us and let us voice our opinion and gave in. Gave in or Gave up! No, in fact they respected our opinions and gave us independence to make decisions only if we ensured that it was not coming in the way of our studies or discipline.

We got punished when we did not fulfill our part of the deal. Why not, parents place trust when they agree to the bargains and it breaks the hearts of both the parties when the trust is broken.

If you think hard enough you will realize that we have been negotiating all our life in each of our relations. So, next time you observe your kid doing it, steer it into a healthy one without giving in or giving up and you will be helping them shape their personalities.

Once when I entered the spacious domain of Shopper’s stop where my sister works and I get special treatment from all the Customer Care Executives, I noticed these nice wooden frames hanging down in continuous trail from the ceiling. I was fascinated by the simple and raw looking frames and somewhere deep within me the sleeping creative was stirred wide awake.

I asked my sister - the source of the creativity hanging down the ceiling - what she planned to do with them. “Nothing” she said. So, with a bright face I told her to get some of them for me once done with her display. I had a rush of vague ideas of how I could make use of these frames in my new apartment.

Another bright day when I entered my mom’s house she reminded me to take the frames with me. But as usual I forgot to carry them. After some three four reminders when one day I said “Ok where are they” I didn’t have the faintest idea that the frames were two big bag full of the frames.

Looking at them I told my mom to keep them to store them till I could carry them home.

Just two weeks back while enjoying the barbecue party I saw that everyone was generously using some wooden frames to start the fire. And then I realized that those were the very frames I had told to store. Somehow while shifting the frames found their way to Di’s house. And, I told di to keep a few of them for me. I shared my ideas with her and she was also interested. Although, the idea was not anything concrete but was enough to stir her imagination as well. And it resulted in both of us storing away the frames hidden from the boring, unimaginative minds who only found them fit to start a barbecue.

Now the frames are nicely tucked away in a safe corner till I find some good idea. But it better be soon lest I only forget my big plan for them. For the time being the idea playing in mind is to arrange them randomly and place some nice framed pictures of everyone in between the frames. If time permits I would change the raw look of the wooden frames by using some acrylic paint or some ceramic.